The middle.
Writing good beginnings is not that difficult, although the standard demands amazing beginnings these days. Writing good endings isn't that difficult either, at least not in the grand scheme of writing, much as many major screen franchise writers will try and convince you otherwise. I suppose maybe that's a case of weight of expectation?
In any case, it's the middle that's trouble. Sorts the men from the boys, the women from the girls, the finishers from the quitters, the greats from the good...
And sometimes the dumb from the not so dumb, because getting it right takes a dumb amount of work. Or so it feels.
I finished writing today a day shy of 40k words, a total that is minus a few missing scenes here and there right in the middle. It has become like pulling teeth as every unmade decision has caught up with me. It's also seen me completely depart from good story structure, writing transition scenes out of a vague feeling they should be there, putting in emotional heart to heart scenes then ending them quickly because it didn't feel right...
It's sucked. But I'm getting there. It will continue to suck.
There's an idea that I'm very fond of that I kind of stole from this column and that is the bad version of a good idea. It's just tossing out a solution to the creative problem in front of you, even if it's obviously a non-goer, and going from there. It is the same basic idea as the whole "write crap just to get it down and edit" but it sounds better and it goes for everything.
I do believe there's a good idea here. I do believe it's an idea I want to share. But lord oh lord am I stumbling through the iterations.
The idea is getting better and clearer. I read an interview with Storr recently on specificity and that's helping. The theme to this, what makes it cool other than knights and gangsters and alchemists and ghosts and an early-renaissance-esque fantasy mish-mash of adventure and intrigue, is about cowardice and courage when all choices seem terrible. Very specifically that.
What I don't have specificity on is the exact nature of a lot of the things making it cool that are non-theme. The big action scene I just wrote was really hard for not being quite clear on what I was trying to do with it. I now need to build towards the big decision before the finale and I'm not sure what it is. And if I have a flaw as an author, it is the same I possess as a person where I try to use rationality to avoid conflict where possible. Books without conflict are dull. But so are books with super idiots who happily plunge off cliffs! This is the big learning opportunity for me.
This feels very much like the last verse.
What I can say is I'm starting to form a cast around Sooley (Sulei? Salei? Asavei?). There's a bunch of power old untrustworthy mages, a scheming young miss who's picking a difficult path, and a prodigy with a blade. There's also now a ton of setting info, which is the good thing of working in a pre-established world, and if I was nice I'd tell a little about it.
But I'm not nice, it's 1:50 in the morning, and I've done enough to keep myself honest and on track.
The only question is whether I'll stay on track. In a lot of ways, I want to sack this off for a few weeks and do something less painful. Find a few more answers by letting it marinade, do some editing. I'm not sure if that's the right idea but as a headlights planner, I'm really totally driving in the dark. So the plan is to write a bunch tomorrow because I do at least have a few scenes in mind, and then take the weekend off - work on another project a little - and see how I feel.
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