Saturday 25 April 2020

Asterix Readthrough Books 5 to 8

Before I plough on, I'd like to talk about something Bea mentioned in the comments of the last post and that is the quality of the translation. Asterix is fantastic because of its wordplay and when I found out these comics were originally written in a whole other language back as a wee kid, it blew my mind. It would be like discovering Shakespeare was actually just the translator for a totally unknown Finnish playwright. Judging from what Bea said, they managed the same in Portuguese. This sounds like witchcraft. Before the next one, I might look up the story of how this happened as it sounds like it would be fascinating. However, I did not have the time to do that, so I'm just going to read some Asterix and talk about it.

5: Asterix and the Banquet

The initial concept of this feels very familiar - some bigwig shows up from Rome with bright ideas on how they're finally going to conquer the village. Massive spoiler here - it doesn't work. The only real question is how many Romans Obelix will get to thump before they run away. He wants all of them, he's on 4 when he has an argument with a very early version of Fulliautomatix over whose Roman it is, and then they run. But this time the bigwig (Inspector-General Overanxius) has a cunning plan. Build a wall (this sounds familiar) around them to isolate them from the world so they can't spread sedition across Gaul. This infuriates Asterix who says he'll go all around Gaul, and bring back their speciality foods for the eponymous banquet to prove it. Bet made and Cacofonix intimidated out of singing, it's time for a road trip.

It should be noted this is probably the most French of all the Asterix books. It's filled with in-jokes and references that I don't fully get. For example, at the first stop Rotomagus (Rouen), the inhabitants prevaricate over any question asked to them. It's also filled with interactions with the everyday people of Gaul and now I re-read it, there's some lively little characters. The dodgy used chariot salesman at Lutetia (Paris) and barman Cesar Drinklikafix in Massalia are my favourite, but everyone has a bit of pop to them. Good humour is about getting a sense of personality on every the minor characters (among others) and it is managed well here. 

Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be as much care about how Asterix and Obelix win through the challenges. Twice they pull the whole "beat the crap out of everyone then realise its easier to surrender, so they wait for the enemy to come round" thing. There's two different traitors. They steal two different boats. They steal two different Roman vehicles (a breakdown chariot and a post cart). Was there some bet to see if they could do everything twice in the office the day they did this? It's probably why I don't remember it that fondly. In any case, they make it back as heroes and Overanxius gets to experience the village's speciality cut -

The Uppercut.

Which is the best Action One Liner of the series so far.

Best Name: This automatically goes to Fulliautomatix for his first appearance (even if he's completely different later) but I do like Drinklikafix and his wife, Hydrophobia.

Best Pun Exchange: When Asterix gets cornered in a humbug shop there's some humdingers, with it all ending in a sticky mess.

Best Single Panel: The look of abject fear on the treacherous Unpatriotix when he hears the Romans only caught one of Asterix and Obelix at his house.

Least Deserved Fate: When they cast off in a ship bearing menhirs, they do having forgotten four of the menhirs they were meant to deliver. The clerk on shore shouts out this news, so Obelix decides to throw one at him. He doesn't ask for the other three. Poor sod.

Best Action Sequence: Them getting off said ship is fantastic chaos, particularly as they do a cunning smuggling operation to get them on shore and it all goes horribly wrong. Cunning plans that devolve into mindless violence is why I'm here.

6: Asterix and Cleopatra

Time for another classic, and the first example of what would prove to be a particularly common type of Asterix story; somebody outside Gaul has a problem, they come to the village of indomitable Gauls for help, the Gauls go to kick ass and chew bubblegum in foreign climes.

And bubblegum hasn't been invented yet.

In this case the help wanted is Getafix's rather than the gruesome twosome. This is because there's a bet between Cleopatra and Julius Caesar and as a result, hopeless architect Edifis has just three months to make a magnificent palace in Alexandria if he doesn't want to become crocodile food. And only someone who can actually do magic will get it done. Therefore Getafix, Asterix, Obelix and special debuting star Dogamatix (no prizes for guessing) go to the land of the Nile. 

There's two interesting minor wrinkles on the way, showing how the creators were looking to change things up. First off Cacofonix doesn't even try to sing... but still gets beat up when he tries to get the attention of the man standing on his toe, because the man assumes Cacofonix wants to sing. Poor lad. The second is when the pirates show up and see its the Gauls, the captain just sinks his ship to avoid the pain. He's a pirate, he's got it coming.

The main opposition here in another change isn't the Romans so much as Edifis' rival, the dastardly Artifis and his servant Krukhut. They try several schemes, from inciting the labourers to locking the Gauls in a pyramid (from which Dogamatix rescues them like the good boy he is). Needless to say they don't work, mainly because the Gauls are using their head rather than brute strength which is nice. Julius Caesar tries to just knock it down near the end but gives up when caught red handed by Cleopatra. Blah blah, the end. The change in tone - more personal, more tricksy - combined with the fact ancient Egypt just looks fascinating is why this is a classic. It's a brief of fresh air, it feels iconic, and there's some fantastic moments...

Best Name: Edifis' ship is called the Nastiupset. Classic.

Best Pun Exchange: Asterix and co employ some biting wit after we first meet Artifis that very much reminds poor Edifis of the crocodiles.

Best Single Panel: The shaky hieroglyphs that show Obelix's poor mastery of Egyptian

Best Action One Liner: "Boing! Boing! Boing!" Okay, its not great, but there's limited material here. The one issue with this comic.

The Actual Issue: Okay, the actual issue is that the depiction of the black Africans is, er, classically unflattering? Very dated? A triumph of racial harmony this isn't, which is a shame as most of Asterix is about an affection for other nations, even if expressed very tongue in cheek. Gonna keep an eye on how this one goes.

7. Asterix and the Big Fight

From one I've read endlessly to one I've only read three or so times. Rome's latest attempt to conquer the village comes from garrison number two, Felonius Caucus, who suggests using a Gaulish custom called The Big Fight. It allows one chieftain to challenge another to personal combat and the winner takes over both villages. There's only one problem and that is who wants to take on the invincible Vitalstatistix? Even the "as colossal as the Colosseum" Cassius Ceramix wants no part in that. One of the cleverer names that.

So per usual they try to take out the Druid. And for once, it works... after Obelix throws a menhir at the ambush patrol and hits Getafix instead. Who comes round having completely lost his memory and gone soft in the head. He even asks for an encore from Cacofonix. At what point are they going to teach Obelix that using a massive boulder just isn't safe? How many more innocents have to suffer because this WMD is banned?

From here, there's two main arcs (a welcome innovation). One is trying to restore Getafix's memory. The other is preparing Vitalstatistix for the prospect of fighting for the village without the potion. Neither feels truly excellent, although there's some golden moments in the quest to cure Getafix. In fact, lets get right to the best one shall we?

Best Name: That belongs to Psychoanalytix, the Druid brought in to cure Getafix, who asks Obelix...

Best Exchange: 

"Excuse me, but it does take a druid to judge these things... how exactly did he get this tap with a menhir?"
Obelix: "Like this" *hits him with menhir*

So gloriously predictable

Eh...

Yeah, not a lot else here remarkable.

8. Asterix in Britain

I have read this one the most. Of course I have. It all starts with the poor pirates getting ground up by the Roman fleet coming to invade Britain, and then in fine anachronistic style the Romans conquer, until there's one village left and they need help. The village is led by Mykingdomforanos, which is probably the best name, and one of his warriors has a distant cousin in Gaul named Asterix. Said warrior Anticlimax sneaks through the lines, rows across the channel, and foolishly asks Obelix to shake him by the hand. He survives though.

So off they go, Asterix pocketing some strange herbs first, and its off to the village. But alas! Some Romans twig what's going on. So it's a tricky journey. A very British one, for a given value of British - fog, rain, boiled meat, warm beer, rugby, and so on. One chap reacts rather badly when Romans try to charge across his lawn. There's the Beatles for crying out loud. 

Things go wrong when the Romans manage to confiscate the magic potion in a raid and Asterix has to get it back. It might be the biggest set back so far. In fact... they never get it back. But Asterix says he can brew it himself and sticks the strange herbs in some boiling water, which gives them the strength they had in them all along, and they win. The herbs are later revealed to be tea.

Best Name: Mykingdomforanos is the definite obvious winner, but the bartender Dipsomaniax is a close second.

Best Set Pieces: Number one - watching the Romans test every barrel of Gaulish wine they confiscated in order to see which one is the potion. Number two - Obelix breaking onto a rugby field mid-game to get the magic potion back. Both are some of my favourite pieces of the series and makes the comic instantly wonderful.

Best Pun: "I had to try for a try!"

Best Action Scene: Asterix and Obelix trying to find each other in the Tower of London.

Best One Liner: "My garden is smaller than your Rome, but my pilum is harder than your sternum".

Best Panel Not Related to Rugby: The burly Gaul breaking a lyre behind his back while telling Cacofonix he's no idea where it is. I don't know why cruelty to Cacofonix amuses me so much but it does.

No comments:

Post a Comment