If Book Titles Were Bands

Hello and welcome to another fine episode of "Peat makes stupid comparisons based on books". This time, we'll be looking at book titles and asking "What would they be like as bands?"

The inspiration for this came from the blogger Imyril (co-host of the upcoming Wyrd and Wonder) who did it herself and encouraged me to come up with my own version. So here's my tip of the hat to her. I've decided to look at particular authors and go through their titles looking for crackers so let's start with the author who gave the best one I thought of up at quick notice.

Robert Jordan: The Wheel of Time is filled with lyrical titles, so there's got to be some good band names there, right? And it is. Most are better album names (I'm shocked there's nothing for Winter's Heart on the metal archives) but there's some solid choices. Lord of Chaos play some lead guitar heavy prog/classic metal that's obsessed with Moorcock; think a band that listens to a lot of Blue Oyster Cult, Hawkwind, and Led Zep. A Memory of Light have an eclectic take on dance and rock; they once opened for 65daysofstatic and have a Killing Joke cover. Some of his best choices lie outside WoT though (and getting published); The Fallon Blood, Infinity of Heaven and Cheyenne Raiders would make a solid hardcore punk bill.

The best band of the lot thought is clearly The Dragon Reborn. They play Power Metal. Cheeeeesy Power Metal and they do it without an iota of shame. They have three guitarists and two vocalists (plus backing vocals) and want to play gigs with a full opera choir and orchestra. Everyone would take the piss out of them save they sound awesome. In fact, they probably sound a lot like this except it needs some keyboards.

JRR Tolkien: That went well so lets see what happens with the man himself, shall we? Unfortunately, nothing about LotR lends itself well to this, although I imagine Return of the King is an acceptable Elvis tribute act. But what about his lesser works? Anything there? Farmer Giles of Ham is clearly one of the guys from this ad who decided to roll with the idea of being a countryside gentleman rapper forever and is now semi internet-famous. Tree and Leaf play some interesting spaced out stuff that wanders between folk and trip-hop; they're probably from Bristol. But this is all small fry. We need a real hit artist.

Step forwards Mr Bliss. Did you know Tolkien had a book about a guy called Mr Bliss driving his new car published posthumously? I didn't until I went looking for inspiration and he did. And Mr Bliss is just a fantastic name. Come on now. How comes there isn't a dance act called Mr Bliss? Surely he was big at the time that The Shaman was? Or maybe he laid down great funk tracks back in the day. Seriously, how did no musical acts called Mr Bliss come back when I just searched for this?

NK Jemisin: From an old master to a modern one. Jemisin is here because I can see my copy of The Killing Moon from where I sit and that's such an easy one for me. The Killing Moon's sound comes right out of the 80s/90s, from that explosion of north-western English jangly guitar indie that wasn't quite Britpop but kinda got lumped in with it after. Obviously, they're big Echo and the Bunnymen fans but they're into the Stone Roses, James, the Charlatans, etc.etc. Plus of course there's her new work The City We Became which is clearly an experimental post-punk band with meandering soundscapes, borrowing liberally from jazz, dance and sludge metal alike.

So two great bands right off the bat. Can we get a clean slate? It's close. The Shadowed Sun play some fine Kyuss-esque desert stoner rock. The Fifth Season is probably more of an album title but it might also be the name of a band very like The City We Became. The Obelisk Gate are a solid futuristic sounding Industrial band. The Stone Sky is an up and coming funeral doom metal act from Finland. But there run out. Sadly, the titles from the Inheritance trilogy just don't work.

Lindsey Davies: Let's try some non-fantasy authors and who better than my favourite historical crime author? There's nearly 30 novels, gotta be some good ones. And there are. Enemies at Home plays straight up New York style hardcore with some good "Oi" choruses. Pandora's Boy are so emo that Conor Oberst thinks they need to calm down. Two for the Lions decided to form a band after listening to Refused and At the Drive In on repeat; when the band split, the more punk orientated guys formed Shadows in Bronze and the more experimental funk led guys formed The Jupiter Myth. So much punk.

Non-punk wise... I'd listen to The Accusers' brand of political hip-hop (I want them to sound like Aquemini-era Outkast). Maybe One Virgin Too Many play Bloodhound Gang style frat rock? Eh. Not buying it. There is, of course, Nemesis. That could be anything, but the naming style screams early extreme metal. In particular I'd guess first wave black metal, but anything would do. There's a reason there's like forty different metal bands called Nemesis after all.

Ian Rankin: Based on a grand total of four comparisons, it seems to me that fantasy makes metal and crime makes punk. So let's try again. The Rebus series does give a lot of punk material. Straight away Knots and Crosses are the Pogues inspired band the world needs so badly. Bleeding Hearts is the more average emocore band ever it hurts. A Question of Blood plays deathcore, leaning more towards the core. Let it Bleed is another classic hardcore band; they played a set with Enemies at Home.

But Rankin's bibliography is rich with material for another genre and that is Gothic. I think Resurrection Men would be the best of them, macabre and jaunty with a swing side to them; the gothic version of Diablo Swing Orchestra. Dead Souls love that 80s sound, The Impossible Dead are more modern and techno, The Naming of the Dead has a heavy Dead Can Dance influence... so much goth. I really want to listen to Fleshmarket Close, as I think they're just the dark side of Depeche Mode non-stop. I honestly could be here all night with this one.

Hilary Mantel: Lets change this up with an author with a far smaller bibliography, which I badly need right now. An Experiment In Love sounds like a shoegaze band waiting to happen; they probably have a lot of songs about how they haven't found love. Most of her book names scream 'pretentious prog band'. I think The Giant, O'Brien would be the most fun of them; a tad folky, a lot dramatic. A Change of Climate is probably the most boring and sound something like Pink Floyd without the talent of restraint.

The winner here is Fludd. They're electro, but with a psychedelic edge. In fact, the term here I want is psybient, a genre of which I've listened to precisely one band and keep meaning to return to when feeling weirded out by life. That band is Shpongle if anyone is curious.

David Gemmell: Back to fantasy and time to go with an old favourite. Gemmell's brand of heroic fantasy was very blood and thunder, so I'm expecting a lot of metal friendly band names. I will try to look for non-metal first to keep it interesting. Up first, Hero in the Shadows is a grooving pop-punk band with a band of an edge, a harder version of Franz Ferdinand if you will. Or maybe a rival to later AFI. Midnight Falcon play classic rock with a bit of a southern twang. Quest for Lost Heroes is totally emocore of the Thursday or Thrice variety. And a shout out to Echoes of the Great Song for their role as spiritual heirs to Dead Can Dance's world music stylings.

But metal. All of the metal. Waylander is an honest to gods black metal band already for crying out loud. The Hawk Eternal play psychedelic Sabbath-influenced metal. The Last Guardian matches The Dragon Reborn for their love of big choruses and guitar heroics. Winter Warriors plays something in between; they're more of the Cathedral/Candlemass meets traditional heavy metal scene, something like this song by Dawnbringer. Stormrider is a symphonic black metal band, full of bombast and melody and fury. Morningstar is just generically metal to the core - three of them by my count. The best of them though would be Knights of Dark Reknown, a Ghost/Belzelbubs-style anonymous superband reinventing Melodeath through their fusion of Iron Maiden and modern extreme metal.

Anyone who got all of that, please come email me for some chats.

Aliette de Bodard: Dear gods I've got to stop picking authors with big bibliographies. De Bodard only has a few fantasy books and... how many short stories and collections? Okay. Lets keep this sane. I'm mainly here for two things. Servant of the Underworld is the most straight up metal name to date and that is saying something. I'm guessing they play some wicked Slayer-esque thrash with a blackened metal edge and a *lot* of blastbeats. Also I haven't done series names yet but Dominion of the Fallen is the Fields of the Nephilim proggy-gothic occult-Morricone loving inspired monster I really want. 

Going through the whole list reveals some other solid choices. On A Red Station, Drifting takes a more electro approach to the cavernous post-metal popularised by Neurosis and Cult of Luna. A Salvaging of Ghosts could be just about anything and I'd love to know what. The Frost on Jade Buds probably isn't a band but it is a beautiful name. Seven of Infinities plays some space-trance very like Stellardrone. I should probably read some of her Xuya stuff.

Micah Yongo: I want an author where every title works. I want to finish on a high. So... new author, not much stuff, certainly no novellas or what not confusing the issue. The answer is Micah Yongo who has two books, Lost Gods and Pale Kings. Perfect. Lost Gods is one of those up-tempo, high energy pop rock bands like Panic! At The Disco or Ladywives, with lots of songs about the breakdown and fall of authority figures. And Pale Kings is a perfect doom metal band - something with a folky death tinge, like early Amorphis or My Dying Bride. Because of course I have had to end with metal.